What Kind of Parent Are YOU?

     In the Desert News, December 9, 2012, there is an article on page P3 that I found very interesting.  Lois M. Collins writes about 4 parenting cultures that reflect the story of America's families. I would like to quote the descriptions of the four types of parenting.  As you read them, decide where you fit and ask yourself if you are happy with your parenting.  I found that they overlap and that I seemed to fit into all of them to some degree. I dont think any of them are to be condemned; they undoubtedly will all produce children who make their own choices in life.
                                              
                                                          The Faithful
     "20% of American parents, adhere to "divine and timeless morality" from traditional Christianity, Judaism or Islam to give them a strong sense of right and wrong. They try to preserve moral order, raising "children whose lives reflect God's purpose. They talk often with their kids about faith, have family devotions, attend church and pray before meals.  ...A number of the Faithful attitudes line up with stereotypes of conservative Christians, e.g. use spanking, strongly disapprove of gay marriage or sex outside marriage, and the women embrace the role of homemaker. The Faithful want their famlies to be warm and emotionally supportive and think men should put family before their career, just as women should.

                                                    Engaged Progressive

     "21% fall into this category. Morality centers on personal freedom and responsibility. They see few moral absolutes except the Golden Rule. They value honesty, are skeptical about religion and trust what "feels right," also allowing others moral latitude. They are the least religious.... They are pretty optimistic about today's culture and their children's future, hoping to help them become what the researchers call 'responsible choosers.'  Their children get more freedom. By 14, they know about birth control, by 15, they surf the Web without supervision and by 16 they watch R-rated movies.  They are politically liberal, support gay marriage, value tolerance and 'believe the playing field of life should be relatively fair and even.'

                                                        The Detached

     19% fall into this category. Parents let kids be kids. They are skeptical of the 'old certainties' of the Faithful, but are just as skeptical about the views of the Engaged Progressives. They are primarily white with blue-collar jobs, no college degree and lower income. They are less happy in their marriages, not particularly close to their children and think they are 'in a losing battle with all the other influences out there.' They spend less than two hours a day interacting with their kids and when they have dinner as a family, it is often in front of the TV. They dont usually monitor their kids' homework and their kids tend to have lower grades than those of the other parenting cultures.  They are pessimistic about the economic future and their children's opportunities and 'seem resigned.' They say they believe in God, but dont attend church and religion in not an important part of their children's lives.

                                                    American Dreamers

     This makes up 27%. They are optimistic about their kids' opportunities and abilities, and, even with relatively low household income and education they 'pour themselves' into raising their children and giving them material and social advantages. They try to protect their kids from negative social influences and strive for strong moral character. This is the most common family culture among blacks and Hispanics.  They are more likely to be women, believe in God and claim religion as important but 'embrace a live-and-let-live morality when it comes to other people.' They voice opinions. Two-thirds of them are married, but they feature more single parents and count more on extended-family support.  They are'very close' to their children and hope to be best friends some day. 'Compared to other parents, they are just as likely to offer their children praise and encouragement, but they are more willing to discipline them - by scolding, giving time-outs, threatening spanking, and spanking."

     This leaves 13% called other. This is not discussed.  Having read these descriptions, I can identify families for each of them, and I find I am less judgemental. We have no right to judge others; we only can make our choices and the judge ourselves. BUT...dont judge yourself too harshly. Every individual who comes to Earth has the divine right to free agency.  Let God be the final judge; you will find that He will be less harsh with you than you are with yourself!